Moving keeps you lean. When I was a young adult, I remember that I lived in 7 different apartments in 6 years. Whenever you move, you automatically purge because you don’t want to take it all with you. You don’t want to move it all. So, you start to toss things out. And in the process, you end up with things that are important to you.
I remember when I was going through my divorce to my first husband, many would say that I made the ‘mistake’ of leaving the house – it was a mistake because then, I wouldn’t be in control of my ‘stuff’. As a result, I didn’t get much of my stuff back, & I remember my Mom being really scared for me that I would never be able to recover from that.
That was the first time that I lost all of my stuff and I rebuilt; I guess you could say that I’m voluntarily doing that again.
We’ve lived in our house for 16 years.
Months before Gary & I even decided that we were going to move, I would look around our house, and a get an overwhelming feeling of panic and anxiety. The thought of packing up the house to move, because I knew that one day we would – it was beyond comprehension to think about all of the stuff that we had and what we would need to do to clear out the house.
We live in a 5 bedroom house, and have no children. All of our rooms are full.
Because when you have space, you fill it.
The whole process of purging our stuff has been interesting as we’ve gone through this journey, and I’ve tried to approach it with curiosity. I knew that getting rid of our stuff would bring up some emotions, but I wasn’t sure what they would be, and I wanted to explore, if I was feeling something, what that was about.
We’re only bringing our pets, clothes, electronics, some kitchen stuff, and some linens and towels with us on our move to Mexico.
As we’ve gone through our stuff, we’ve divided everything into 3 piles: bring with us, put in storage (things we’re either not ready to part with, and not ready to bring), and get rid of.
I wish I could say that I love the feeling of getting rid of this stuff. And yes, I think that happens with a very surface level purging. But once you get past the clutter, and in to the guts of your personal possessions, the freedom starts to take on a different feeling: not so much insecurity, but maybe some safety? I don’t know. I need to explore that more.
I have had some emotional gut reactions to selling some items, which I’ve tried to be curious about. Like the first person who took a major component of one of our rooms – a rug – my initial gut reaction was, ‘You can’t take that! That rug pulls the entire room together! Without that rug, the room that we have worked so hard to design, and we love hanging out in will look empty!’
Or thinking about all of the hundreds recipes and food I’ve made with the set of mixing bowls that I bought at an antique store, as I was carrying them out to my friends car.
There’s a lot of history and memories in that stuff. And I would rather our stuff go on to make new memories with our friends than get thrown away.
We’re getting rid of almost ALL of our stuff. I’m actually starting to feel very vulnerable and naked. As each piece of furniture leaves the house, and our home turns back into the empty space that we purchased 16 years ago, it’s hard to not think about all of the memories – all of the amazing experiences we’ve shared in that time.
And so, it’s cathartic to close this chapter in our lives, and to remember what a truly amazing experience Gary and I have shared in the past 16 years in this home. But it’s also exciting to think about what the future has in store for us.
We can’t hold on to the old and embrace the new at the same time. We need to let go of the past to be able to open the door to the future.